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A friend of mine recently lamented "Hey, I couldn't find your site on Google." The problem? |
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He was using my name for the search. Apparently, my scheme to brand the unique and catchy"Spastic Weasel" label instead of the pathetically commonplace "Kevin Walsh" has backfired. |
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What do I mean by "pathetically commonplace"? Aside from the fact that "Kevin" is as Irish as green beer and pub brawls, "Walsh" is actually the fourth most common name in the entire land of Eire. |
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That's one of three useless "Walsh" factoids I know. The other two: * Our family crest features a swan impaled by an arrow. * Our motto translates as "Transfixed, but not dead". And you wonder why the Irish drink. |
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So, you ask, what's the point? Simply this. You can't swing a dead leprechaun without braining a dozen "Kevin Walsh"s. Still, I must appear somewhere in the hierarchy of a Google search, right? Sadly. Pathetically. That's not the case. |
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But rather than whine and complain and do actual work to enhance my Web footprint, I've opted instead to dedicate a page to my namesakes, my brothers -- the myriad of "Kevin Walsh"s who are not, in fact, me: |
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Kevin Walsh -- Political Prisoner
http://free-kevin-walsh.tripod.com
Apparently, this Kevin Walsh said some not-at-all-nice things about Dubya and is reflecting on those statements in Federal custody. Yes, I know -- I make a Dubya joke on The Ultimate Personality Test, but I am not a political prisoner. (Stop crying, Mom.) I do, however, get hassled whenever I try to do e-ticket check-in at the airport -- and now I think I know why.
http://www.jigsawgallery.com/collection.php?collection=Kevin%20Walsh
Sure, I could have listed him as a Yorkshire-born artist, working primarily in oils with a penchant for aircraft and city life scenarios featuring vintage autos and other vehicles.
But, c'mon -- Jigsaw Puzzles!
http://www.segerbob.com
His site contains everything you could ever want to know about Bob Seger...in the header. And then there's more. Lots more. Lots and lots more. Like his sample fan letter. And his Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet band tattoo. But I give the man his props for being a true fan and for probably being able to kick my ass. When I make my Bobby McFerrin Fan Site, I will model it on this one. My tattoo, as well.
http://www.kevinwalshcpa.com
A Republican fiscal conservative from Texas...which is like a Moebius strip of redundancies. I'm on pins and needles to know if he'll win re-election! But not so much that I'll actually check back for the results and update this listing. "God bless Galveston County and God bless Texas", indeed. (America, apparently, can get f***ed.) But I'm better looking than he is and his name is Kevin Walsh, so rock on, my Galveston brother! And good luck curtailing the frivolous lawsuits of your Democratic predecessor.
http://www.tattoonow.com/Body_Piercing_Galleries/Kevin_Walsh/
A Republican fiscal conservative from...ha! Gotcha! This Kevin obviously has a much higher tolerance for pain than I do. But I have a much higher tolerance for resisting the urge to stab bits of metal into every orifice and/or protuberance on my body for no sane human reason. So on the whole, I think we break even. I'm frankly afraid to click past the first gallery, because there are some things man was not meant to see. Who knew Connecticut was such a freak bin?
http://www.musicinscotland.com/acatalog/Kevin_Walsh.html
A Scotsman, sure, but read his bio -- he's only Scottish on a technicality of birth. His family is Irish. His blood is Irish. And he sings songs to touch the Celtic heart, "wherever that may be". Um, sure... Well, he's not "Kevin Walsh -- Advertising Copywriter", so I guess I shouldn't be too critical. But, hey! "Classical" and "World" music influences? Hell yeah!
http://www.italianplasters.com/app/Florida/KevinWalsh.html
Venetian. Plaster. Applicator. You want more?
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